What Surgery Has Taught Me

So in the past year I have learned a lot about myself and who I am. Now I would like to say that I have always had a pretty good grasp on who I am and I have always been able to keep a positive attitude through trials. Even through a big experience like moving from Georgia, I was the only one who was somehow able to stay positive for the first little bit. So what is surprising to me is that what I ultamentaly learned from this experience is something I already thought I knew. But apparently not since I learned it for real this time.

So first thing I learned from surgery is to keep a positive attitude no matter how bad life seems. Now this is a lesson that I think that I will still have to learn again because as this year progressed I learned this lesson again and again for different reasons, so I really should just remember it now as to be happier my next trial. But during this experience I didn't have the best attitude in the beginning, or middle for that matter. I was actually pretty negative even though I tried to hide the fact that I was negative from the people around me. This is what ultamentely led to my downfall. This is what made me believe that life was never going to be great again and that I was never going to be able to smile again or whatever other irrational thoughts I was having. If I just kept my perspective and remembered to have a positive attitude my life would have been a lot easier and a lot happier. Not to mention when I was finally able to force myself to be positive my healing process began to speed up and I felt stronger and healed faster. Its amazing how a little perspective helps a person not only emotionally but physically. And now looking at myself I realize again that life is never as bad as it seems and so I should always stay positive and to "Come what may and love it".

The second thing I have re-learned is that looks do not define me, or to quote someone who went through much more and much worst then me, I am Olivia Bush and I am not my body. (ps, of you want to see something great go watch this video http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KHDvxPjsm8E, it is truly amazing how this woman has lived her life despite trials that are terrible and she has not had the happy result that I have) But when I first had the surgery I told myself over and over again that my looks didn't matter, but I don't think that I completely believed myself. That is why when people looked shocked when seeing me, I cringed and hated it. So when I found myself looking normal again I felt good again but not even that completely cured the way I felt. I felt like I lost myself when my looks changed. So even when I passed that awkward swollen stage and started to look (I hate to say this but it is true) even more beautiful then I looked before, I still didn't feel right. In fact I think the fact that I look even more pretty then before made me feel even worst because I had this sense of having something similar to plastic surgery, where I purposefully changed myself to look better. But as time has gone by I realize that this isn't the case. I have come to realize that without a doubt I will always be myself, whether I am gorgeous or ugly or somewhere in between, and that is what makes me truly beautiful. I will always be Olivia Bush, the girl who is friends with everyone, especially outcasts, the girl who is way to confident for her own good, the girl who is sarcastic in every way, the girl who can't think of anything really defining about herself even though there is a thousand more things she probably could write. This is what really makes me attractive to people and is what makes me who I am, the good looks are just a bonus ;).

The next thing I have learned is that time not only heals scares but it turns them into good memories. Even though this doesn't sound like I am looking back at a fond memory, really when I think back to those last two months in NY, I really think that they were great times! It was fun shocking my dad by being over confident even when I couldn't talk and it was the opposite of true. It was a lot of fun having chick flick marothons, and watching Firefly, Doll House, Angel, Stargate, NCIS, and whatever shows I watched with Emily and Lyle. It was fun being served and not feeling bad when skipping church. For the most part when i think back at the surgery it was a good time! Sure it didn't feel like it when it was happening but now I look back and smile. So in conclusion, time is our friend.

Forth I learned that eating from a syringe in gross, 'nough said.

Fifth, I have learned that showing people pictures of yourself who never knew you before jaw surgery is a lot of fun. Doing the reverse was horrible but seeing other peoples reaction is pretty hilarious. This might have something to do with time healing and positive attitude though.

Sixth, And finally because if you know me at all you would know that a six part list is perfect for me :). But anyway, Sixth, if you must have a life changing experience that teaches you some life lessons, you should do it before college because it makes a great paper for any class that asks you to write a personal paper. I swear I have told every teacher I have ever had this experience at some point and it has become the easiest paper in the world! So yeah, advantage!